Exposing ROY
I am writing this blog being overly conscious of my consciousness. I know that when I think about illusions, my mind is putting in a hundred percent to think about the various illusions that are swimming around me. I can think of illusions that are visuals, touches, ignorance, denial, lack of self-discipline, neglect etc.
But why do that all have an undertone of pessimistic overview?
Now that I begin to re-track my mind into thinking a certain way about how I feel about illusions, I cannot help but consider my anxiety that always comes in the way. Anxiety is such a hot topic in my life. I could probably relate everything back to anxiety. That is one moment in my life where consciousness and my unconsciousness dance into driving me off limits. As far as I recognise correctly, my anxiety is to do with hyper-tension, as sense of rushing, as though I have to be somewhere, I need to reach somewhere, time is running out. The thoughts are racing at speed of light and that rush has manifested in my mind, a more sophisticated term for that is what I call anxiety.
But I cannot blame my thoughts can I?
Aren't we tuned to run multiple things together?
It could be:
Multiple classes in a semester
Answering multiple texts on the phone
Keeping multiple tabs open
Having multiple memberships
Paying multiple bills
Multi-tasking
The act of doing one thing alone has become so rare, that now if I try to slow dow my life into doing the absolute ONE thing, it almost feels impossible. I am either interrupted with thoughts, phone calls, ambulance sirens, music, friends, hunger etc.
That is where comes in Mindful Meditation.
The way I treat mindful meditation is to not neglect multiple thoughts, or interactions, but simple be hyper aware of their existence in my mind. For eg, at this very second as I am typing this blog post, I am interrupted by the thought about what I would like to eat for dinner. But the goal of my practice is not stopping the thoughts from prevailing, but identify that I am having them, and then maybe placing them on the side. Their presence is simply acknowledged but not manifested into my presence.
And that is my goal. I would like to quite literally pick these thoughts that enter my mind, (could be one after the other or multiple at the same time) and put them aside. Almost like pick them, and slide them somewhere back in a void, and not touch it until my present is absorbed thoroughly.
What if I could physically do that? What if my actions would quite literally control my thoughts? What if my fingers could sweep my thoughts? Is there something to explore that with technology? Maybe there is.
